So.. I've been recently told by my ultrasound doctor that I have Placenta Previa (where the placenta covers the cervix... and will hopefully move eventually as the uterus grows) and I'm now considered "high risk". I'm not allowed to have sex, not allowed to exercise.. not even lightly... Not allowed to do really much of anything. I can walk. I can walk at a normal walking speed. Thats it. It's been almost a week since I've been told this and I feel I'm falling deeper into anger & depression. I'm not the type to throw hangers.. and I broke and threw a hanger today followed by sobbing quietly under the covers so my DH wouldn't worry about me (he already knows I'm frustrated).
I had already accepted that my body is not my own while I'm pregnant and have accepted certain changes and limitations. But this news and new "you can't do anything" rule I feel is sending down Depression Drive. I ran 3 half marathons last year. I'm an active person now being told I can get up ... and walk to the couch.
I know it's not the baby's fault nor is it mine... It just IS. I can't even ask my regular OB/GYN (whom I LOVE) about it because she just went on maternity leave herself! Now I'm stuck with a doctor who doesn't know me... and is a male. I chose my doctor because I wanted a female doctor.
Anyway.. I'm frustrated as hell and the thought of having 5 more months of this is breaking my heart.
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2 comments:
JENNY! You cannot think this way! Being pregnant, wether being on bedrest or not, is wonderful! You have a little bitty baby growing inside of you. Cherish that fact! This pregnancy is going to seem like forever but its really not. You will be jogging with a baby in a stroller soon enough. Dont rush it. Take this time to relax. I know its hard...but just think, you are going to have someone that will love you unconditionally and that you would give your own life for. Your excersizing and physical life can take the backseat for these short last months right? I love you.
I love you sweets! I'm feeling a little better.. Infact. I think i'll make a new post.
xoxoxo
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